I like to think I run the office for the CIO pretty well. The boss (CIO) negotiates budget and is smart enough to come up with lots of good ideas he implemented at the last place he worked. Seems to have persuaded the CEO he’s capable with imaginative ways for how we can collect process and use information. The directives are pretty clear – which is good.

Alongside the big idea stuff, we have a raft of improvement ideas, problem solves and must haves that come from various business areas. Some have business cases, others are givens that this director or that just wants to ‘spend some of their budget on – so just sort it out please’ projects.

I can pretty much tell you what we have going on, how much the larger ones cost, and how much budget they have left, but it’s hard to predict completion as in some cases the scope is a bit ‘agile’ and some of the key resources are a bit pulled from pillar to post, and we have fires to fight most weeks. I think – all things considered, I do pretty well keeping a reasonable picture of what is happening.

Unusually, I got invited to attend last month’s Exec Board meeting with the boss. He said something about the new COO hiring their deputy from their previous role, and that the COO was bringing their #2 to that meeting, so I’d better put my cufflinks on.

So, we hear the financial position and projections, all good. We hear sales and marketing status, all good.

Then the new COO deputy starts to present their performance vs operational Targets – as expected but then he starts talking about their ‘Change Portfolio’.

OK, new kid, new jargon. But its more than that as he then starts to outline his understanding of the current corporate goals (the fluffy words we have on the website) and imperatives (as understood from recent regulatory changes).

OK, so imperatives I get – but the goals – well – we try to align to those in business cases but his spin is very different. He’s mapped those to known Objectives within Operations and flagged up there are a couple of objectives not getting much attention – so has asked for more funding!

He’s offered some implied new objectives which he wants ratified at the meeting, and has asked that my boss and the CFO as well as his boss can have their annual objectives extended to include one of the Objectives!

WHAT? He’s also suggested a couple of OUR projects that are using CIO resources that could be re-prioritised to support the enabling projects and has explained when he wants completion of the new CRM system by so that the new European Operation can start (well that is just pie in the sky – but apparently my Boss promised last quarter).

Finally – he’s flagged up an ‘Innovation challenge’ that HE wants to set for the CIO to investigate use of shared data for Product Management to enable their refocus on new product development.

He then goes through just his ‘in-flight portfolio’ – each with a completion and benefit confidence figure and confirms progress on completion and accomplishment (why he used 2 words I don’t know) and suggested a couple of ‘strategic’ projects to cancel because he says they are not strategic and not going to deliver!!

Then he finishes to complete silence. And all I hear is my Boss’ chair swivel slowly around to face me. Sadly, I hadn’t brought the red nose and the big red shoes….